9.09.2016

This is How its like to love me

Kuala Lumpur, Federal Territory of Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia

When I'm talking about relationship.. I'm totally not the right person you want to ask for an advice from.
Sometimes I do feel really fucked up all over again but would try to keep the imperfect love
going because I believe because this is passing chapter of my life and
will try to make every little magic to keep you close to me.


Thus, this is How its like to be dating me

I don't want to sound like a cheesy person but.. making you smile is my everyday achievement
I'm really bad at cracking jokes. I might end up laughing at when I have just said to you.
I might even make you go speechless rather than making you smile. But nevertheless,
your smile is everything that I'll do to make it happen.

I will give you Cold Treatment
Not because I'm being cold-blooded or ignore you. I'm doing that just because I wanted to
maintain a good relationship between us. I wouldn't wanna break your heart because I love you and
I don't want to fight just because every argument gonna break that small little happiness that I still hope we get to fix back.

I am jealous AF
I'm a protective girlfriend. Whoever that try to get close or that small little body language..
I just knew it. I'll be furious. I'll show who is the boss here. Who owns that man right here?
It's ME.

I'm a kid
I whine over small little things. I'm not a soft spoken young lady but I'm not loud either.
I laughed really loud in the cinema without realizing I might annoys someone else.
I would want my mash potato changed over french fries. I want my ketchup sauce.
I want to fulfill my cravings when I'm hungry. I'll do what it takes to eat.
I want my fish skin and prawn shell to removed from my plate. 
I'll giggles all night when I'm tipsy.

But after all of this if it matters to you, I'm an independent person.
I don't need someone to send me home. I can wander alone all by myself for hours.
I don't need someone to judge my attitude and change who I am because I know myself better.

I am more egotistic than you can thought
I won't go down. I'll do what it takes to debates for my own rights.
I'm insensitive, I'm insecure and sometime I have low self-esteem.
I might be tough on the outside,,but I'm suck because I'm a soft hearted person.

I might fight with you for hours..but deep inside all I need is your attention and to 
understand that crazy mind of mine.

I am good in hiding my own feelings
I love to talk to people. But now I listen to people more than I talk.
I wanted your attention to tell me about your days, interesting things you saw today,
the people you met. Sometime I keep quiet because I wanna observe the way you talk to me,
the way you remember every words I told you. I want to remember your smile,
your small little gesture. I will also remember every words that split from your mouth that 
would hurt me. I'll remember everything and I might be revengeful.

I am good in hiding my own feelings. I only open up to your if you are worth the one.

So don't go in going around giving me high hopes and bring them down like you mean it.
Do not make me your Plan B. Do not cancel me when we're suppose to meet.
Do not make me feel like I am living in my own thoughts when you are the one that i can share with.


But of course at the end of the day, nothing can change me for who I am even if you love me.
I'll fight for myself no matter how much effort you try to pull me down.




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